My sons residential school placement broke down around 8 months ago. He is now home with me 24 hours a day.
We read in legislation on human rights or the discrimination act, that my son is entitled to an ordinary life. Yet here we are. A few weeks off being 16, and he’s confined mostly to his room all day with little exercise.
He has put on significant amounts of weight since he has been home, and it’s not like we don’t try, but we are running out of things to do with him. He bores easily and even though we do visual timetables and give him choices, he’ll always have a slightly different expectation to what you think, and often any outing goes wrong. As he get’s older, we try and avoid this more and more because of the repercussions of him becoming angry in a public place. The bigger he gets, the less he wants to run around and becomes frustrated by his inability to be able to dash around the way he did before. He hates the cold, and quite frankly doesn’t know what he wants to do, or where he wants to go.
Jack has also always seen school and home as two very different things. Home is where he relaxes and follows his own agenda. The times I’ve encouraged him to do art or play games, look at books or help with his washing etc – and yet he will not participate. At school, he is very different. He sees it as the place to learn. So mostly, he will do some work, he will take part in “good morning”, he will help with planting some vegetables, he will explore the library. This is what school is for.
It breaks my heart to know that something such as abuse can happen in a school, and then the victim of that ends up having no alternative placement to go to.
Jack has been to 4 different schools. When he was 4, he went to a mainstream with a provision and his own TA. When he was 6 he went to a moderate learning difficulties school. When he was 11 he went to a severe and complex needs school, when he was 13 he went to a residential 38 weeks placement and at 15 he has no school at all.
Potentially he still has 10 years of education to obtain. Education for the disabled is only available to them until they’re 25 anyway, and that’s only if the "professionals" deem them worthy. The criteria states that they must still have the “capacity to learn, in the education system”. Because of this, I’d always intended to keep Jack in education as long as I could. After that, he may end up in some sort of specialist housing, or be with us but that’s a long life of milling down to the shops and back or trying to find an empty park that a grown man can play in.
Yet there just aren’t enough spaces to accommodate this. Not enough schools being built, particularly secondary schools and colleges. Not enough money spent on young people getting the right placements, not enough monitoring and not enough thought into the seriousness of the situation. There are currently 1,500 children with special needs out of education with up to a two year wait for a placement. How are we not up in arms about this?
My other son is in mainstream school (He has additional needs too0. A couple of months back, he had a week off school with flu. The day he returned he brought home a letter. A letter that stated I may be fined, if I did not provide a doctors letter the next time my son was sick. This is despite him rarely having a day off before and me phoning each day to give up dates on how he was.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they start getting the mafia take hits out on you, if you step out of line. Keep those kids in education they scream…… “no, no not the expensive ones”, just the ones we use facts and figures and fines for!
The system is failing children like mine. The type of place my son needs doesn’t exist (well I’ve never seen one anyway). It’s particularly difficult at his age. He is technically in year 11 and in post 16 even complex needs schools are talking about b-techs and helping in the community. My son is still 3 in his head. He needs a place with minimal focus on education but that can take him swimming and horse riding. That can do rebound therapy, sports, art and gardening. Where he can be taught life skills and self-regulation. A safe space, where he can do some baking, having kind and supportive staff that will play chase with him and give him tickles. Somewhere I can feel confident he is well looked after, so that I can have some sort of life in my own right. Where, I could perhaps have a little job of my own or be more able to do my campaign work or have the time to see my friends.
I try and keep hope. I tell myself, there must be somewhere he can go. Yet, at the same time, I cannot imagine it happening.
I hope that I can raise awareness on the school system and its failings. I hope to have some part in the places being built that our children need to go to. There should never be a child out of education, and it certainly should never be because their needs cannot be met!
We need to stop trying to get our children to fit in boxes and build their education around them instead.